'a restaurant built around a terraced garden' in an ann beattie story

reminds me of the area in the middle of my high school that was 'outdoors' and

had a tree in the middle with bushes on the side.

my lab partner threw frog legs into it once.

after the teacher caught us, i watched him from the second story as he retrieved them .

the story is about a man who hates thanksgiving. 

i'm not following the plot of the story, but ensuring my eyes look at each word.

when i finish the last page i predict i will feel like i've made every moment in life count.

while i sleep, this feeling will vanish.

then i will get up to go to the bathroom and fall forwards, outside of my skin.

reaching for the inside of my arms, the inside of my arms will feel unreachable. 

from Untitled

Jim brings a camera to the lake house. The camera was given to him by a cousin from Kansas. The cousin is a professional photographer who invested in a newer camera with a bigger lens. Jim realizes the camera is lost when the sun is at the top of the sky and Ellen suggests walking down the shore trail to see the other houses. He sees the quilts on the guest room beds which are perfectly flat in the non-sunlight. There are two small duffel bags, with open mouths, revealing folded sweatshirts and rolled up bathing suits. The sloping lawn shines outside the large, diamond-paned windows. Jim leans down and looks under the bed against the right wall. The dark metal cross and support bars create shadows resembling things other than camera. He lays his stomach to the floor and slides to the bed that touches the left wall and the windows of the back wall. His palms touch the floor two inches to the outside of each pec muscle.The space under these double beds is darker but he still feels the camera is not there. He stands and feels the blood run down the inside of his body. Jim pans the tall dresser covered in an old fashioned tray, black and white photos, a dish of bracelets, and a miniature log cabin made for incense burning - no camera. 

somewhere i have a picture of a haunted fireplace in louisiana 

one time in louisiana i gutted a house whose owner

wanted us to save any star wars toys we found

also the barge board was valuable

which the house was made of i'm thinking

about those two places because i  can't sleep