we took the boat to the damp's house
people drank a lot of beer on the dock
and on the porch
there was a large metal thing
for cooking clams
it got late as boats started speeding
off in orange lit water
then we trolled home in the black water
looking into the warm houses
with our hoods up and towels around us
our house was quiet, a little cold
because we didn't have a fire like usual
i crawled into my top bunk
and it was pitch accept for the blue light
on the grass beyond the pine tree
a bear came to the diamond-paned window
and waved to me
i rolled over and shivered until the blankets
filled with my body heat

i don't think people who have to clean urinals have to put their hands in them unless there is chewed gum in the urinals

i look at the chewed gum and think about the urge you get when you're chewing gum, looking into the urinal

i'm thinking about a movie i saw earlier. a warm feeling of appreciation follows the thought.

there is a little palm tree coming out from behind the letters on my coconut water container.

in 2019 hopefully i will be looking at my hands and wondering about something.
in 2019 i will have a warm feeling of appreciation for a person in my life.

a friend is someone you feel good around.

the angry house wife left the house
she was gone for a while
then i saw her at the game
she asked me how my
mother's parents were
and i didn't remember
that i knew her mother died
she smiled at me,
wearing a fur coat
i remembered the angry
house wife and her mother
while walking down a city street

i'm watching a lot of tv

'this is bad for my writing' i think

then i think 'it feels better
to keep doing things that are bad
for my writing'

i think it's good to say 'it feels good
to do things that are bad for my writing'

song books lay all over
the house while we opened gifts.

one gift was old camping gear, handed down.

i won't have time to backpack for multi-day chunks.
i won't observe nature from an immersed vantage point.

we will enter a large wallet and sleep
for extra time, develop angry eyes, and
search for runaway fishing boats.

this is the blue light poem
that when i see it, the blue light
i'll be leaning forward
and move my eyes up
and raise my eye brows
like i see ten poodles coming
towards my bowl of avocado
and lettuce and lemon juice
that when i see the light
it's relevant to remembering
something from my future
here i go, day
a snow filled window
i feel neutral.

why is being sad relevant?
and why do i want to talk about it?
i can numb myself
until i die
continuously with chemicals
and intellectual material

'it was something i remembered'

i always stick in one line, of something

'her muddy drawers'

i made those up
to escape. i don't even want to escape.
and escape what.
myself.

i put on a sweatshirt and three pairs of socks
i didn't do anything, like the day would never
end, or, i'd never have enough energy

i put 7-grain organic bread in extra virgin olive oil
with cayenne pepper, and pepper, i think
played the star wars game on xbox

i ate cookies and napped for two hours
got up from my bed and walked to the living room
yellow light flashed on the walls from a truck

the night just suddenly came
i don't know what a person is
i am one
who made all these things around me?

i'm so tired
i miss my stop
have to change sides
and ride back

i'm so happy
i poor poison down my throat
it doesn't matter
i grab your face and laugh
demoniacally into it

hello bed
hello sky

fuck the world
we're going to a winn dixie
should i get a case of beer
i get a case of beer
but they don't drink anymore
but i see them holding them
appearing randomly
onetime some one gave me a cig
for one
in the winn dixie you said
there's trash here
'corporate bullshit'