one of the great summers, seriously

hasn't it been one of the chillest seasons ever, that you can think of in your recent lifetime? there's been a lot of rain, but a lot of really nice days too – the weather seems like whatever.

the whole year has been pretty sweet actually, probably one of the best years of my life.

now i know what you're thinking, 'doesn't everyone feel like shitty.’ it seems like you might think that, i don't really know.

i am glad we can all band together to defend ourselves against the unanimous inhuman force that incessantly makes us feel shitty.

looking at my inbox this morning i witnessed something with the subject line ‘fiction submission’ and the first lines reading ‘we regret to inform you…’ appear.

i feel smart because i can observe things in detail and then express myself impressionably on other people.

i am pretty much set for life.

oh wait there was something else…

i think i thrive off observing my self-expression take affect.

my subject matter is highly refined and i discriminate heavily. i think i will really have a controlled thing to work with in the future.

it seems like anything i get really excited about is not worth being that excited about. or maybe it just always turns into a desire for a type of food or drink.

here’s some stuff that happened:

my mom said she was sick during the year of her first pregnancy. she went out drinking on a lot of the nights. and i said damn. and my aunt said that explains a lot, miles.

i think before or after that i said imagine two people who look just like scott and chris (the two who were not with us) walk out of the woods. my aunt said miles, where do you come up with this stuff.

on the first night my cousin asked me about not eating animals and peter singer. idk what was actually said. i felt sort of drunk and bad at speaking / formulating thoughts. the convo evolved into something about our purpose as humans or something. i seem to remember it more via feelings.

my brother said he'd never be as depressed as my cousins and myself because he's going to do what he enjoys, skateboarding, and i felt like my mom told him we were all depressed behind my back. but now i think i am wrong in thinking that.

i enjoy tetris, and other video games, because they evoke errors in my myself that i don't feel the need to express.

my brother had an idea to get a tattoo of the scene in jurassic park where the young kid is electrocuted by the giant fence and goes flying off of it.

i wrote sentences like 'scott is napping.' 'peter takes a shower.' 'the cats seem divided and anonymous.'

we all weren't sure what was going on and my aunt said we could write poetry. i think i recoiled. i definitely smiled at the computer screen.