i want to just post videos on my blog. feels bad as i attempt to formulate complete sentences. feels like they will never be what i want them to be. seems easier to just do what i am told to do or produce an interpretation of my estimation of what everyone else produces. sort of want to blog about Haiti and sort of want to blog about new york city water supply and sewage system. last week i thought i was going to blog about the cherskogo mountain range in Siberia. i have a lot of questions. the answers won't change anything. is there a point?

something different:
each time i get my hair cut at a barbershop i feel worse looking in the mirror than the time before. had a barber in the past that turned my chair, didn't have to look at myself for ten minutes. this time i had interesting thoughts while i was trying to not look at myself. a guy was sitting behind the barber and i talking to himself loudly, moaning too. the barbershop was quiet. thought about a coincidental situation. thought about making choices to impede random and misguided events. what's a satisfying outlook on chaos and cognitive action or something? read zachary's post sometime after getting my hair cut and liked it, felt a little better. feels like i will get screwed by some unforeseeable force if i am not more than just honest and progressive-thinking.