why do they tell you where to call if the police are talking about a missing suspect? or why do they tell you about apartments that are for sale?

last thursday i dreamed i was on my knees sailing on top of a layer of ice across a campus quad while clutching each end of a wind-filled t-shirt.  

then i dreamed a man came into my office and put down a box of munchkin donuts.

when i woke i checked if there were donuts.

seems like i can't stop thinking about my novel, i'm sick of it.

what should i think or type about?

on sunday i went to a party from 1am - 3am.

the sink in the bathroom was filled with vomit and water.

someone asked me what was in the sink. i said i didn't vomit in the sink.

the conservatives don't want government but when they want someone to help them with their problems they ask the government.

i don't know why i am gay.

i don't know how to express that i'm really comfortable all the time, like even if i've eaten way too much food and it's 90 degrees outside it still feels like my body temperature is ok and i'm wearing loose fitting clothes and the things underneath me are soft thought that's not what's really happening.

sometimes i'm too comfortable. i thought my roommate took my dvds and packed them and moved them when she moved. the other day i suddenly knew where they were in the apartment, went to them and idly scanned each title.

then i worried about dying. it seemed like i didn't respect the life i was given.

"Gusts of music are borne on the wind toward me from the Students' Promenade. So it must be past two. I got out my paper and things to try and write something, and as I did so my book of shaving coupons fell out of my pocket. I opened it and counted the pages -- there were six coupons left. Thank God! I burst out; I could still get myselft a shave for several weeks and look good! My spirits rose immediately because of this little possession that I still had left; I smoothed the coupons out carefully and put the book away in my pocket."

fasda

damn. this thing was broken for a while.

my friend Donald wants to buy an authentic carousel horse w/ pole. (thought: i avoided the words "replica" and "reproduction" but felt an urge to include them.)

think he prefers the standers to the jumpers.

price range: $1,500 to $2000.

we've checked ebay and he's left a message with a company called Roto-Cast Classic Carousel Production.

so here's how i fixed it: [PUBLISH POST] [SAVE AS DRAFT] [PREVIEW]

i hit [PREVIEW] then i saw the blog with a water mark on the corner in a separate window.

so i came back (here) and hit [PUBLISH POST] then hit [edit post]

the dial of little almonds disappeared.

y so pixelated? (droidd) what is up everyone?




want to burn the earth from miles ross on Vimeo.

3pg (or something) to mpeg4 (or something) changed the resolution, made it "bigger"

i use some video converter like aimersoft

the raw video matches the vimeo video pretty much tho

(this part is about my other camera)

i own a jvc camcorder from 2001 and haven't put any stuff from that on my mac yet.

lost the battery to it and not sure i can buy a new one or that it is even worth buying a new one.

(this is like floating commentary or something that seems unnecessary)
not sure what i value. no expectations. no goals. no identity. who am i?

whiteface mountain (via south-facing rockslide)

when: friday june 25th, 2010

where: lake placid / wilmington ny

who drove: i drove my brother's car halfway (the transmission died). mike drove(the entire distance) in his fiance's car.

participants: myself, mike, mark, adam hump(man)

food: (a lot of stuff): peanut butter and cherry preserves on wheat, cliff bars (multiple flavors), pistachios with shells on them, water, tang w/ water, chips ahoy cookies, nature's valley peanut butter and chocolate bars (i think). we also ate different stuff when camping the night before and after the hike (stuffed peppers, pasta and prego sauce, breakfast and lunch at a country store and Judd's respectively).
cellphone service: in parts there was definitely, interesting on top there was cellphone service. i know because both mike and adam called their fiances from the summit.

trail: began at the trail head off of 86 in lake placid (12 mi round trip). muddy in spots as always in the 'dacks. flat, sort of, to whiteface landing, 3 or 4 stream crossings. steep after the lean-to. dusty, duff and roots, then boulders and roots and running water. bushwhack to the rock slide = pretty difficult re diverting from the marked trail too early and having to bushwhack more than necessary. bushwhack: spruce pits, short spruce with many brittle branches, closely spaced, scratchy branches, soft duff and mossy underfoot, precarious fallen trees, precarious ledges of moss-covered rock and drops-offs from moss-tree-covered rocks into spruce pits. rockslide (landslide, really, but i been calling it "rockslide" all my life): steep, wet and mossy in parts; dry and steep in other parts. there was a gravely, avalanche looking part but i forget the name of that kind of phenomenon.

views/weather: started out clear, then sort of low billowy clouds that let a lot of sunlight through. all of lake placid, most of the 46 highpeaks (to the south) viewable. darker and hazier in the directions of vermont (east) and canada (north). we found out later that it had rained in the hamlet of lake placid / mirror lake while we were somewhere on whiteface mountain. cold and windy on the summit and since we were sweaty that didn't help. when the sunlight wasn't on us directly it made it a lot colder.

notes: camping and paddling were considered part of the trip that was centered on the hike, or vice versa. we planned on paddling to either moose island (lake placid, actual lake, north-side) or whiteface landing but the car carrying the canoe stopped working halfway (albany). we all rode in mike's car and camped on paradox lake after leaving the ford and the canoe at sunnyside garage outside albany. we planned on staying saturday night (adam, regarding saturday on friday: "i'm having a good time."). however mike woke up saturday and his ear was bleeding from an incident during the bushwhack and he couldn't hear from that ear. we left saturday morning and watched usa lose to ghana in the first elimination round of the world cup in lake george village at a place called judd's.

*new category* swimming *new category*: swam in paradox lake: a little cloudy some garbage but other wise clean, clear and pretty warm in temperature: swam in lake placid: kinda chilly but warm after a few minutes, very deep clear and tasted nice if the water got in your mouth, like really nice i think they add sugar or tea leaves or something to the lake.

elevation: summit: 4,867'; change; ~3,000'

boy do i feel stupid

so tired though

what the hell is going on?

did you listen to the radio show?

this is a video i made

i haven't felt this emo in months (extended version) music video from miles ross on Vimeo.

the people are bryan, jj, chris, ben, and i don't know the other names...(song by tao)

i planned on going to see the claude monet late works and being disappointed and i was.

i sort of felt happy, leaving work, going north towards the gallery.

thoughts that i should be sad while in the presence of the paintings embryonically developed.

only when i actually started to feel sad in front of the paintings did i enjoy myself.

my earphones were in my ears the whole time with music coming out of them. i felt things while looking at the paintings. i wanted to sleep. i didn't like the paintings. i wanted to manipulate paint, somehow, in relation to the paint already on the paintings. 'mainstream cultural events,' i thought.

the space was big. there were 28 paintings. all the frames were nice. the lighting was calming. there was a lot of security, as in people who were there to watch the people watching the paintings.

the event was written about on a blog.

everything seemed very real, as in the paint and the floors and these little boxes in the corners of the rooms that had white discs in them.

walking away from this thing was interesting.

felt a mixture of bad and good emotions. thought about authors, my job, my friends, time of day, the city.

thought 'what is ---------?' while a variety of concepts, habits, concrete materials alternated as the previously missing subject.

just thought a lot, walked, bought a jonagold. 

wanted to die. wanted to live. read on the subway but didn't really read.

now i feel anxious and impatient and my room is cold.

the blog is back ...was privatized due to some difficulties, maybe technical.

i just briefly searched, internally, for a strategic re-publishing method, but...

i'm in a sea. i'm lost in something sea-sized, everyone. dear god,

so much sugar. a diet of fruit and carbs and sodas and rum.

dustin dollin has stupid rocker hair. that guy's on something sweet.

so, my job prevents visits to blogger dot com by using a computer program called a "filter."

blogger is a 'personal site,' apparently.

it now seems important to deal with my personal issues or something, in a personal way.

remember when i used to be weirder in some ways, better ways, but now i'm weird in a bad way.

i skateboarded for maybe 20 minutes today. like "old times" i still suck.

some people were standing in front of a door near where i was trying tricks.

i could hear a bass guitar, amplified. then a hummer limousine parked at the corner.

i've been reading All the Sad Young Literary Men.

think i'm going to read Soldier's Pay next.

it's windy and cooler now,

guess that means a low/high pressure system now shares its presence.

submarine pitcher

                                      

got a macbook pro y'all

gonna make great sex with it

seems like another interesting summer ahead of us

gonna make great friends

peace everywhere

bomb time square