i like how the cafeteria at my job has low lighting

there were people sitting face to face in the booths, talking

i put cookies, a chicken sandwich, and some chopped potatoes
on a paper plate and took a plastic fork from the tray

after i finish eating those things, i can hear my voice moving
around in my head

it's pushing on the remnants of the food in my mouth

today i'm doing good work by reading at a fast rate
concentrating on not internally vocalizing
and thinking about the concrete meanings of words, sentences,
and paragraphs

i sent an email asking for professional advancement

the fact that other people are reading somewhere makes me feel safe

i want to be an animal without ambitions, or anticipation.

most of my ambitions and anticipations have led to painful feelings.

i thought this post would be better. it doesn't contain any of the entertaining sentences i think i have been yearning for.

my only way out of this dilemma would be to exist in the future, in a different situation.

my wants are a manifestation of my anticipations. i suspect circular thinking.

painful feelings have kept me awake past when i would like to have gone to bed.

soon i have to fall asleep. i can't wait to fall asleep.

tonight, i'm in my apartment
lying in bed with a book
incense is burning
each argument is thought out to its fullest extent
chapters and sections comprise an intricate
layering
i'm ultra-calm
the clothes of a prep person who smokes
lie in bed
i hear an empty cup being placed down
i'm going back
brown hair floats down the street
cya

i felt bad for the last two hours
after reading the top stories on a local station's website
my bad feelings culminated in distaste, and frustration
everything is money driven
and i feel mood-driven as a result
how can i trust that the people who clean
our office recycle?
i changed the channel to cnn but it was the wrong channel
so i changed it to the knicks game
the game didn't start yet
it starts soon
they will be playing the bulls
a player will be retiring due to a heart condition
they are a struggling team
i feel bad for the players, almost emotional
they will try hard tonight

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there are healthy foods in my refrigerator
they are organic produce, some vegan cheese
kombucha drinks and apples and avocados

the avocados are on the counter actually

i'm finally on it, i'm so on it, however you want it

a girl has dreamed that she is in front of her laptop
she does not recognize that she is dreaming
she closes the laptop and lies on top of it
she is in a sense dominating the laptop
which will now suffer eternally because the battery
has white stuff coming out of it
this is a sign of death in a lot of nations
the girl has taken everything she can from the laptop
put it on cd, and will upload those things
on to a new laptop
i don't know if this is wrong or right
the girl immediately applies the instant messenger application
someone types to her you could be dreaming this whole thing

a person reads 20 pages of THE WAY WE EAT, WHY OUR FOOD CHOICES MATTER under the dimmest lighting allowed by the light dimmer of the kitchen light, in the kitchen. the person was reading for an hour. while they read the sun rose completely over the horizon. lying in bed the person thought, it shouldn't take an hour to read 20 pages. but the light was dim and the person had been awake for 20 hours straight. the person thinks they should read more so they can read faster. then they quickly think they should 'comprehend' what they read better by writing about what they read and not contemplating how fast or slow they read. then the person falls asleep for four hours. this is the end of the person's story. it is indeterminable how much the book the person is reading will positively affect the person's life. the person will make food choices based on what they have read. as far as reading, writing, and comprehension, the person finds thinking about those things boring.

the couch is pointless
it's position is out of control
the best thing now would be to push it against the wall
because i want to forget the couch
and not be scratching the floor
i will not try to get any comfort out of the couch
it is tainted
what would be the point
when i think the couch scrambles messages
my thoughts cannot be neutral in it's presence
an entertaining idea housed in the context of life
can only be a couch
then you leave each room
to never to return to them in the same way again
when all rooms become the same as rooms
but with purposes and they are used to their fullest extent.

i'm thinking about pushing the send button
what's in the body is unknown
i could be in the body and be sent away
the computer has waited for my brain
the sentences have never let me sleep
good night

the light was warm
behind the curtain rays
i saw someone working on a laptop in a window
they were leaning forward
their hands gently resting like a hamsters on the keyboard
i realized this is what i moved to new york to learn
and felt confident about the use of my time
despite the many times i've wanted to start over
within the fridge new beginnings are always possible
the empty fridge holds the possibilities of rhetorical imagination
beyond which no one has gone
but i don't know
i'm sometimes negatively affected by confusing streets.