seems like people can easily get the things they want

i came to this conclusion after looking at young adults looking after their children on the subway

and going to the rumpus anniversary party

though i have done a bad job managing time this weekend

this mid-weekend post seems like a good idea

going to play more video games now

my plan is to play video games, sporadically pause said games and read something from books i set aside at a previous time and place next to me on the couch

trying too hard to be productive but i am not sure what i want to concentrate on in the coming months

another short story?
a book of poems?
a 'fucking' novel?

i feel tense and nervous

thought, 'i am faking it' while vacuuming the rug with the ornate pattern on it

worried i won't begin sleeping 'immediately' tonight

i have nyquil

'robo-trippin'

gettin' dumber

the world is menacing

i want to just post videos on my blog. feels bad as i attempt to formulate complete sentences. feels like they will never be what i want them to be. seems easier to just do what i am told to do or produce an interpretation of my estimation of what everyone else produces. sort of want to blog about Haiti and sort of want to blog about new york city water supply and sewage system. last week i thought i was going to blog about the cherskogo mountain range in Siberia. i have a lot of questions. the answers won't change anything. is there a point?

something different:
each time i get my hair cut at a barbershop i feel worse looking in the mirror than the time before. had a barber in the past that turned my chair, didn't have to look at myself for ten minutes. this time i had interesting thoughts while i was trying to not look at myself. a guy was sitting behind the barber and i talking to himself loudly, moaning too. the barbershop was quiet. thought about a coincidental situation. thought about making choices to impede random and misguided events. what's a satisfying outlook on chaos and cognitive action or something? read zachary's post sometime after getting my hair cut and liked it, felt a little better. feels like i will get screwed by some unforeseeable force if i am not more than just honest and progressive-thinking.

NYC Salt Reduction Proposal

I read 2 (1&2) articles on the internet about something the government is talking about.

The City Department of Health is asking food manufactures to voluntarily reduce the amount of salts in food products like canned vegetables/soups, cereals, chips, fast-foods, and pizza.

NY Health Commissioner Thomas Farley told the Daily News, "If they want more salt, they can put it on. They can't take salt out of the food they buy."

Companies that adhere to the plan will have to reduce %25 of salt they put in packaged and restaurant foods by the end of a 5 year period. The deadline for the changes will be 2014.

The Department leads the National Salt Reduction Initiative and wants to decrease the populations salt intake by %20 percent in the next five years.

The Daily News wrote that people get %80 of their daily sodium from foods they buy and %20 from the salt they keep in their homes.

A Spokeswoman for the salt institute, Lori Roman told the Daily News, "[...] Salt reduction is based on a false notion that there is sufficient evidence to connect salt consumption with cardiovascular disease."

It seems that the New York City's food market and government could affect nationwide markets since sellers depend on the city's business but have buyers in many other places.

According to the Department the goals were conceived after months of meetings between health organizations and industry leaders. NYT says in the past when the City encouraged restaurants to voluntarily reduce trans fats they ended up passing a law to ban them.

Someone from A&P said the criteria was realistic enough for suppliers to adhere to it. Subway, the sandwich place, told the NYT it would comply with the suggested guidelines.

The plan was inspired by other countries like the United Kingdom which has reduced salt in some products by %40 or more and Canada, Australia, Finland, Ireland, and New Zealand who have launched large scale intiatives.

The Department says some people can ingest the recommended daily amount of salt in one meal - something like a deli sandwich of sliced meats.

The federal government thinks that 2,300 milligrams, or a teaspoon, a day is the most a person should ingest. But the average adult in this country consumes about 3,400 milligrams a day according to an unknown source.

Chor-San Khoo, vice president for global nutrition and health at the Campbell Soup Company told the NYTs that sodium reduction does not always follow prescribed time or progress. NYTs says Campbell already made significant reductions in a lot of its canned soups and V8 beverages.

The NYTs says other companies will be reducing salt ingredients by similar amounts and timelines but not signing on to the government initiative.

was reading 'sparknotes' for Tuesdays with Morrie

not sure what love is

feel self-conscious typing 'love'

seems easier to write after having a few drinks

if i stopped drinking completely it would take a few months

before i felt normal 'not drinking,' 'i think'

predicting i would feel more excited 'not working' for a corporation

wanting money seems to equate to laziness

feel like isolated subjects and non-sequitors equate to laziness

when did i stop using isolated subjects, or fragments, in my writing

not sure what 'writing' i am talking about, it's all the same

guess nothing is totally isolated, ever

does just thinking that thought isolate me from something

guess you can be totally isolated from one thing and not everything

was in a room with a lot of people

they were talking about marriage

sensitive about my appearance

felt bad between work and my apartment, really tired, but wrote in my notebook - random stuff

slept for four hours when i got home

need to sleep soon, drinking rum and store-brand soda

feel like i cannot access what i really mean to say though

this first things i type seem really wrong, or bad

forget where i was

but i was thinking, as if i was explaining it though, to someone,

that the earth and moon and sun are a lot smaller in scale

than the way we see them with our eyes

like if the earth was the size of a screw on something in a taxi cab

then the moon would be the size of a piece of sand and be as far away as the sidewalk

and the sun would be the size of a coconut and be as far away as a building a block away

after watching the film Up In The Air, i feel more confident that some of the subjects in this post are potent to people that don't know what they're going to be doing in their 30s.

so i'm going to read this in the morning and either edit it or delete it

peace

wake up time in 2hrs from now

stuff that happened (to me) this decade

~ start of 2000
*waits out thunderstorm on top of whiteface mountain
*quits football team after being choked by football coach
*tries out for varsity lacrosse team, doesn't make team
*family sells summer lake house, goes to Mohegan Sun with family
*works at coffee shop, throws party at parent's house while parents go out for Chinese food

~start of 2001
*sees clockwork orange and Dr. Strangelove
*visits 'ground zero' days before Christmas
*works with Guatemalan immigrants excavating septic field, cuts live electrical wire in an old house with yellow 'snippers'

~start of 2002
*gets rejected from purchase film school, wait-listed at NYU, visits Emerson in Boston, enrolls at suny oneonta
*reads 'on the road', 'the rum diary', 'electric kool aid acid test'
*visits grandparents in Florida
*watches wild strawberries, 8 1/2, the seventh seal, and winter light
*vacations with family in Montauk, NY
*loses virginity
*takes psychedelic mushrooms alone in college dorm room
*'crams' for philosophy final using 'cocaine' to stay awake


~start of 2003
*receives a D in public speaking, fails African history (doesn't take final), receives a C- in world literature
*takes acid and eats food in wilsbach dining hall
*takes psychedelic mushrooms after seeing Hukkle in 'art house'
*gets arrested by campus police for lighting fireworks
*drunk drives in snow covered back-country roads in oneonta
*moves into house on Columbia street in oneonta, gets sued by neighbor, reads Faulkner oeuvre, reads 'tortilla flat', reads 'torch song' by john Cheever
*wins intramural indoor soccer title
*takes a girl to a club, listens to heavy metal in her dorm room after
*talks with grandfather re 'art' at breakfast table
*attends weekly mug night entirety of college semester

~start of 2004
*works at ski mountain, flips grandfather's car driving to ski mountain, snowboards drunk, loses car keys on ski slopes
*sleeps in car at ski mountain, reads 'song of Roland', abridged version of '1001 Arabian nights'
*videotapes interviews with several Buddhist monks at monastery in new york
*reads 'leaves of grass', 'complete poems' of Emily Dickinson
*writes 10 page paper re Faulkner's 'go down moses', reads first part of king Arthur's version of the bible
*swims in lake placid again
*girlfriend at the time studies abroad in Florence, Italy

~start of 2005
*moves into apartment in oneonta that has a bow-flex
*takes literature courses over summer in oneonta
*listens to air america radio regularly
*apartment gets big screen tv, kegorator, playstation 2, deep fryer, crock pot
*cares for 3ft female marijuana plant

~start of 2006
*makes ~6min video starring roommate
*drinks sambuca regularly
*graduates from suny oneonta
*moves in with parents
*starts blogger blog
*washes dishes, makes salad for 2 weeks in violet, Louisiana
*serves food at conference center, sees bear vs shark in poughkeepsie, ny

~start of 2007
*works as freelancer in Manhattan, NY
*guts katrina-ruined bedroom in 9th ward New Orleans, scoops used condoms with shovel
*drinks Guinness regularly
*reads Man A la Mancha, Ulysses, The Odyssey
*hikes Mount Haystack wearing new balance sneakers
*rereads abridged version of Inanna's Descent into the Underworld
*drinks whiskey and ice regularly
*flirts with vegetarianism
*deletes original blog
*poem published on california based website

~start of 2008
*reads tao lin oeuvre
*visits bearparade.com regularly
*attempts and fails to hike mount haystack wearing snowshoes and new EMS boots
*moves to brooklyn, ny
*reads 'like life', 'revolutionary road', 'self-help', 'chilly scenes of winter', 'the end of the story', 'a green light'
*sees 'the grand illusion'
*starts new blogger blog
*starts twitter account
*watches forrest gump in its entirety on cable television
*puts 'britney spears' stickers on door of gawker offices
*suffers embarrassing defeat in goldeye for N64 at the hand zachary german
*continues to flirt with vegetarianism, occasionally eats meat
*eats at angelica's kitchen with girlfriend at the time
*sees ellen kennedy read 'probably going to die alone'

~start of 2009
*cross-country skis to avalanche pass
*hikes dix mountain wearing new hiking boots
*has things published on the Internet
*reads march edition of Harvard business review
*interviews at fortune 500 company
*hikes rocky peak ridge, giant mountain
*reads john Keats on subway train
*flirts with veganism, occasionally eats dairy, occasionally eats meat
*grandfather dies via cancer
*listens to 6x Wordsworth poems on cassette tape

~start of 2010
?????????????

again

i cannot remember the order of particular events

after i have singled out one event

where did it come from?

not sure what the purpose of remembering everything is

i feel like my twitters are bad

feel sick of myself, life seems so bad

i wish that 75% of my blog didn't exist

the snow on all the sidewalks is terrible

why am i not writing more, nothing new happens

seems like i cannot broaden my perspective

i am aware there is a broader perspective

but then it feels like i am hungry

returning to original blogger personality

feel bad a lot and can't accept that i'll feel different

felt good for a little after thinking about the past

feel like xmas and xmas-eve

is going to be worse than a regular weekend

this post is going to make you not like this blog anymore

honestly felt my blog was being visited by a recruiter

today

my back hurts

posture seems really bad

not sure if i should stop here

or keep typing

not sure what to do at all

what am i going to do about keeping a steady income

feel like i look like a farm animal

i want to shower

but i showered today

at 430am

going to shower the next time it is 430am

my face looks unsymmetrical

okay i really want to stop making more lines

just seems so bad

sentences are not making me feel better

going to watch the rest of 'men who stare at goats' tonight

clooney

i can feel what it feels like to feel good

chinese cabbage

thnx jamie and zachary

(greatest people ever)

just got back from a reading in manhattan

hated it. not sure why i went.

don't remember anything i liked
remember it smelled like donuts in the venue
remember thinking 'how did i end up here'

all the sentences were very long. there was a lot of repetition.
people were laughing a lot during the questions part.
hated the people for some reason.

still have my winter hat on, and my jacket
sitting at my laptop

'liars in love' is a good story by richard yates
i felt like i needed to recreate something i read in the middle of one of the paragraphs

coming home from work i couldn't understand the prose in the middle part of it.
i felt angry. i stared a lot. i read a page and felt confused
and then stared and my face felt warm.

not sure what the point of this post is.

frostbite seems like one of the worst things to get.
it seems bad to get if you're not expecting it or something,
like if you're doing something 'normal'
and are not prepared exposure to extreme cold

it is worse, i think, if you get it on a mountain
and you get it so that it blackens like a whole appendage.

this is faint and meaningless and produced by Alex Balk

haha he sucks from miles ross on Vimeo.