thinking
the stuff going on in my head is weird
almost expected it, once, when a girlfriend said
'maybe i'm being bitchy because i want to drive you away'
used to think my grandpa acted mean while he was sick
to make it easier for us when he died
i have this uncle
he says strange stuff
think he says strange stuff
to make us all confused or something
he likes to take it to the next level
we kind of egg him on
2.04.2010
i'm moving.
looking for someone to replace me in my current apartment,
starting on the 1st of March.
it's a 2 bedroom.
roommate will be staying in one of the rooms.
you will get one room and an office-type room that opens to the living room.
the living room, kitchen and bathroom are shared.
located 2 blocks off the F train at Ft. Hamilton Parkway (Brooklyn NY):
neighborhood: Kensington.
750/month plus gas / electric.
email or comment if interested.
(half view of living room, facing street)
(view from kitchen window, mid-summer. yard not included)
(1/3 view of bedroom)
looking for someone to replace me in my current apartment,
starting on the 1st of March.
it's a 2 bedroom.
roommate will be staying in one of the rooms.
you will get one room and an office-type room that opens to the living room.
the living room, kitchen and bathroom are shared.
located 2 blocks off the F train at Ft. Hamilton Parkway (Brooklyn NY):
neighborhood: Kensington.
750/month plus gas / electric.
email or comment if interested.
(half view of living room, facing street)
(view from kitchen window, mid-summer. yard not included)
(1/3 view of bedroom)
(view of office)
2.01.2010
Possible Excerpt from Novel (only 500 words so far)
Chris was at a party in a house in a college town. He went upstairs in the house and entered a room. People in the room sat on a bed. A girl handed Chris a water pipe packed with marijuana. He handed the pipe to a different girl. Chris looked at the things in the room. He saw a clear plastic jug containing random items, sitting on a cluttered desk next to a computer monitor. He saw some crumpled dollars scrunched between the items. He inserted his hand in the jar and clutched the dollars. He slid the dollars into his jacket pocket. He looked at the floor and turned his body towards the wall and then towards the door. People appeared to be acting normal in his peripherals. A guy with gelled hair and a stomach that extended beyond his waist looked at Chris. Chris felt that no one could have seen what he just did. The guy held a beer in front of his stomach. He remained looking at Chris. Chris thought 'Huh?' The guy said, "Give me the money." Chris walked towards the guy while looking at the floor. Chris pulled the money from his pocket and pushed it into the guy's palm. He walked out of the room while looking at the floor the whole time. He ran down the stairs, through the front door, over the porch, down more stairs, turned left on the side walk and continued until he saw a Denny's. Chris heard a male voice yell, "Get him," when he made the left on the sidewalk. Chris entered the Denny's and inserted his checking card into an ATM machine. The machine indicated insufficient funds. He called a friend. He met his friend's on the main street of the town. They waited to find out where another party was. No one had money for more beer. Having no money they entered a club. The music in the club was loud. From the way the club appeared inside it seemed like the beers would be over priced.
Chris was at a party in a house in a college town. He went upstairs in the house and entered a room. People in the room sat on a bed. A girl handed Chris a water pipe packed with marijuana. He handed the pipe to a different girl. Chris looked at the things in the room. He saw a clear plastic jug containing random items, sitting on a cluttered desk next to a computer monitor. He saw some crumpled dollars scrunched between the items. He inserted his hand in the jar and clutched the dollars. He slid the dollars into his jacket pocket. He looked at the floor and turned his body towards the wall and then towards the door. People appeared to be acting normal in his peripherals. A guy with gelled hair and a stomach that extended beyond his waist looked at Chris. Chris felt that no one could have seen what he just did. The guy held a beer in front of his stomach. He remained looking at Chris. Chris thought 'Huh?' The guy said, "Give me the money." Chris walked towards the guy while looking at the floor. Chris pulled the money from his pocket and pushed it into the guy's palm. He walked out of the room while looking at the floor the whole time. He ran down the stairs, through the front door, over the porch, down more stairs, turned left on the side walk and continued until he saw a Denny's. Chris heard a male voice yell, "Get him," when he made the left on the sidewalk. Chris entered the Denny's and inserted his checking card into an ATM machine. The machine indicated insufficient funds. He called a friend. He met his friend's on the main street of the town. They waited to find out where another party was. No one had money for more beer. Having no money they entered a club. The music in the club was loud. From the way the club appeared inside it seemed like the beers would be over priced.
1.26.2010
for me to call your name again
i'm sure i felt sad and then got accustomed to feeling sad
but maybe tomorrow i'll wake feeling differently
do i fit well into things, like shirts and shoes?
idk, social situations?
probably won't feel differently tomorrow
maybe experience a rogue feeling
existentially
might feel like i am waking
while i am awake
i'm sure i felt sad and then got accustomed to feeling sad
but maybe tomorrow i'll wake feeling differently
do i fit well into things, like shirts and shoes?
idk, social situations?
probably won't feel differently tomorrow
maybe experience a rogue feeling
existentially
might feel like i am waking
while i am awake
1.22.2010
seems like people can easily get the things they want
i came to this conclusion after looking at young adults looking after their children on the subway
and going to the rumpus anniversary party
though i have done a bad job managing time this weekend
this mid-weekend post seems like a good idea
going to play more video games now
my plan is to play video games, sporadically pause said games and read something from books i set aside at a previous time and place next to me on the couch
trying too hard to be productive but i am not sure what i want to concentrate on in the coming months
another short story?
a book of poems?
a 'fucking' novel?
1.18.2010
1.16.2010
i want to just post videos on my blog. feels bad as i attempt to formulate complete sentences. feels like they will never be what i want them to be. seems easier to just do what i am told to do or produce an interpretation of my estimation of what everyone else produces. sort of want to blog about Haiti and sort of want to blog about new york city water supply and sewage system. last week i thought i was going to blog about the cherskogo mountain range in Siberia. i have a lot of questions. the answers won't change anything. is there a point?
something different:
each time i get my hair cut at a barbershop i feel worse looking in the mirror than the time before. had a barber in the past that turned my chair, didn't have to look at myself for ten minutes. this time i had interesting thoughts while i was trying to not look at myself. a guy was sitting behind the barber and i talking to himself loudly, moaning too. the barbershop was quiet. thought about a coincidental situation. thought about making choices to impede random and misguided events. what's a satisfying outlook on chaos and cognitive action or something? read zachary's post sometime after getting my hair cut and liked it, felt a little better. feels like i will get screwed by some unforeseeable force if i am not more than just honest and progressive-thinking.
1.11.2010
NYC Salt Reduction Proposal
I read 2 (1&2) articles on the internet about something the government is talking about.
The City Department of Health is asking food manufactures to voluntarily reduce the amount of salts in food products like canned vegetables/soups, cereals, chips, fast-foods, and pizza.
NY Health Commissioner Thomas Farley told the Daily News, "If they want more salt, they can put it on. They can't take salt out of the food they buy."
Companies that adhere to the plan will have to reduce %25 of salt they put in packaged and restaurant foods by the end of a 5 year period. The deadline for the changes will be 2014.
The Department leads the National Salt Reduction Initiative and wants to decrease the populations salt intake by %20 percent in the next five years.
The Daily News wrote that people get %80 of their daily sodium from foods they buy and %20 from the salt they keep in their homes.
A Spokeswoman for the salt institute, Lori Roman told the Daily News, "[...] Salt reduction is based on a false notion that there is sufficient evidence to connect salt consumption with cardiovascular disease."
It seems that the New York City's food market and government could affect nationwide markets since sellers depend on the city's business but have buyers in many other places.
According to the Department the goals were conceived after months of meetings between health organizations and industry leaders. NYT says in the past when the City encouraged restaurants to voluntarily reduce trans fats they ended up passing a law to ban them.
Someone from A&P said the criteria was realistic enough for suppliers to adhere to it. Subway, the sandwich place, told the NYT it would comply with the suggested guidelines.
The plan was inspired by other countries like the United Kingdom which has reduced salt in some products by %40 or more and Canada, Australia, Finland, Ireland, and New Zealand who have launched large scale intiatives.
The Department says some people can ingest the recommended daily amount of salt in one meal - something like a deli sandwich of sliced meats.
The federal government thinks that 2,300 milligrams, or a teaspoon, a day is the most a person should ingest. But the average adult in this country consumes about 3,400 milligrams a day according to an unknown source.
Chor-San Khoo, vice president for global nutrition and health at the Campbell Soup Company told the NYTs that sodium reduction does not always follow prescribed time or progress. NYTs says Campbell already made significant reductions in a lot of its canned soups and V8 beverages.
The NYTs says other companies will be reducing salt ingredients by similar amounts and timelines but not signing on to the government initiative.
I read 2 (1&2) articles on the internet about something the government is talking about.
The City Department of Health is asking food manufactures to voluntarily reduce the amount of salts in food products like canned vegetables/soups, cereals, chips, fast-foods, and pizza.
NY Health Commissioner Thomas Farley told the Daily News, "If they want more salt, they can put it on. They can't take salt out of the food they buy."
Companies that adhere to the plan will have to reduce %25 of salt they put in packaged and restaurant foods by the end of a 5 year period. The deadline for the changes will be 2014.
The Department leads the National Salt Reduction Initiative and wants to decrease the populations salt intake by %20 percent in the next five years.
The Daily News wrote that people get %80 of their daily sodium from foods they buy and %20 from the salt they keep in their homes.
A Spokeswoman for the salt institute, Lori Roman told the Daily News, "[...] Salt reduction is based on a false notion that there is sufficient evidence to connect salt consumption with cardiovascular disease."
It seems that the New York City's food market and government could affect nationwide markets since sellers depend on the city's business but have buyers in many other places.
According to the Department the goals were conceived after months of meetings between health organizations and industry leaders. NYT says in the past when the City encouraged restaurants to voluntarily reduce trans fats they ended up passing a law to ban them.
Someone from A&P said the criteria was realistic enough for suppliers to adhere to it. Subway, the sandwich place, told the NYT it would comply with the suggested guidelines.
The plan was inspired by other countries like the United Kingdom which has reduced salt in some products by %40 or more and Canada, Australia, Finland, Ireland, and New Zealand who have launched large scale intiatives.
The Department says some people can ingest the recommended daily amount of salt in one meal - something like a deli sandwich of sliced meats.
The federal government thinks that 2,300 milligrams, or a teaspoon, a day is the most a person should ingest. But the average adult in this country consumes about 3,400 milligrams a day according to an unknown source.
Chor-San Khoo, vice president for global nutrition and health at the Campbell Soup Company told the NYTs that sodium reduction does not always follow prescribed time or progress. NYTs says Campbell already made significant reductions in a lot of its canned soups and V8 beverages.
The NYTs says other companies will be reducing salt ingredients by similar amounts and timelines but not signing on to the government initiative.
1.04.2010
was reading 'sparknotes' for Tuesdays with Morrie
not sure what love is
feel self-conscious typing 'love'
seems easier to write after having a few drinks
if i stopped drinking completely it would take a few months
before i felt normal 'not drinking,' 'i think'
predicting i would feel more excited 'not working' for a corporation
wanting money seems to equate to laziness
feel like isolated subjects and non-sequitors equate to laziness
when did i stop using isolated subjects, or fragments, in my writing
not sure what 'writing' i am talking about, it's all the same
guess nothing is totally isolated, ever
does just thinking that thought isolate me from something
guess you can be totally isolated from one thing and not everything
was in a room with a lot of people
they were talking about marriage
sensitive about my appearance
felt bad between work and my apartment, really tired, but wrote in my notebook - random stuff
slept for four hours when i got home
need to sleep soon, drinking rum and store-brand soda
feel like i cannot access what i really mean to say though
this first things i type seem really wrong, or bad
forget where i was
but i was thinking, as if i was explaining it though, to someone,
that the earth and moon and sun are a lot smaller in scale
than the way we see them with our eyes
like if the earth was the size of a screw on something in a taxi cab
then the moon would be the size of a piece of sand and be as far away as the sidewalk
and the sun would be the size of a coconut and be as far away as a building a block away
after watching the film Up In The Air, i feel more confident that some of the subjects in this post are potent to people that don't know what they're going to be doing in their 30s.
so i'm going to read this in the morning and either edit it or delete it
peace
wake up time in 2hrs from now
not sure what love is
feel self-conscious typing 'love'
seems easier to write after having a few drinks
if i stopped drinking completely it would take a few months
before i felt normal 'not drinking,' 'i think'
predicting i would feel more excited 'not working' for a corporation
wanting money seems to equate to laziness
feel like isolated subjects and non-sequitors equate to laziness
when did i stop using isolated subjects, or fragments, in my writing
not sure what 'writing' i am talking about, it's all the same
guess nothing is totally isolated, ever
does just thinking that thought isolate me from something
guess you can be totally isolated from one thing and not everything
was in a room with a lot of people
they were talking about marriage
sensitive about my appearance
felt bad between work and my apartment, really tired, but wrote in my notebook - random stuff
slept for four hours when i got home
need to sleep soon, drinking rum and store-brand soda
feel like i cannot access what i really mean to say though
this first things i type seem really wrong, or bad
forget where i was
but i was thinking, as if i was explaining it though, to someone,
that the earth and moon and sun are a lot smaller in scale
than the way we see them with our eyes
like if the earth was the size of a screw on something in a taxi cab
then the moon would be the size of a piece of sand and be as far away as the sidewalk
and the sun would be the size of a coconut and be as far away as a building a block away
after watching the film Up In The Air, i feel more confident that some of the subjects in this post are potent to people that don't know what they're going to be doing in their 30s.
so i'm going to read this in the morning and either edit it or delete it
peace
wake up time in 2hrs from now
12.28.2009
stuff that happened (to me) this decade
~ start of 2000
*waits out thunderstorm on top of whiteface mountain
*quits football team after being choked by football coach
*tries out for varsity lacrosse team, doesn't make team
*family sells summer lake house, goes to Mohegan Sun with family
*works at coffee shop, throws party at parent's house while parents go out for Chinese food
~start of 2001
*sees clockwork orange and Dr. Strangelove
*visits 'ground zero' days before Christmas
*works with Guatemalan immigrants excavating septic field, cuts live electrical wire in an old house with yellow 'snippers'
~start of 2002
*gets rejected from purchase film school, wait-listed at NYU, visits Emerson in Boston, enrolls at suny oneonta
*reads 'on the road', 'the rum diary', 'electric kool aid acid test'
*visits grandparents in Florida
*watches wild strawberries, 8 1/2, the seventh seal, and winter light
*vacations with family in Montauk, NY
*loses virginity
*takes psychedelic mushrooms alone in college dorm room
*'crams' for philosophy final using 'cocaine' to stay awake
~start of 2003
*receives a D in public speaking, fails African history (doesn't take final), receives a C- in world literature
*takes acid and eats food in wilsbach dining hall
*takes psychedelic mushrooms after seeing Hukkle in 'art house'
*gets arrested by campus police for lighting fireworks
*drunk drives in snow covered back-country roads in oneonta
*moves into house on Columbia street in oneonta, gets sued by neighbor, reads Faulkner oeuvre, reads 'tortilla flat', reads 'torch song' by john Cheever
*wins intramural indoor soccer title
*takes a girl to a club, listens to heavy metal in her dorm room after
*talks with grandfather re 'art' at breakfast table
*attends weekly mug night entirety of college semester
~start of 2004
*works at ski mountain, flips grandfather's car driving to ski mountain, snowboards drunk, loses car keys on ski slopes
*sleeps in car at ski mountain, reads 'song of Roland', abridged version of '1001 Arabian nights'
*videotapes interviews with several Buddhist monks at monastery in new york
*reads 'leaves of grass', 'complete poems' of Emily Dickinson
*writes 10 page paper re Faulkner's 'go down moses', reads first part of king Arthur's version of the bible
*swims in lake placid again
*girlfriend at the time studies abroad in Florence, Italy
~start of 2005
*moves into apartment in oneonta that has a bow-flex
*takes literature courses over summer in oneonta
*listens to air america radio regularly
*apartment gets big screen tv, kegorator, playstation 2, deep fryer, crock pot
*cares for 3ft female marijuana plant
~start of 2006
*makes ~6min video starring roommate
*drinks sambuca regularly
*graduates from suny oneonta
*moves in with parents
*starts blogger blog
*washes dishes, makes salad for 2 weeks in violet, Louisiana
*serves food at conference center, sees bear vs shark in poughkeepsie, ny
~start of 2007
*works as freelancer in Manhattan, NY
*guts katrina-ruined bedroom in 9th ward New Orleans, scoops used condoms with shovel
*drinks Guinness regularly
*reads Man A la Mancha, Ulysses, The Odyssey
*hikes Mount Haystack wearing new balance sneakers
*rereads abridged version of Inanna's Descent into the Underworld
*drinks whiskey and ice regularly
*flirts with vegetarianism
*deletes original blog
*poem published on california based website
~start of 2008
*reads tao lin oeuvre
*visits bearparade.com regularly
*attempts and fails to hike mount haystack wearing snowshoes and new EMS boots
*moves to brooklyn, ny
*reads 'like life', 'revolutionary road', 'self-help', 'chilly scenes of winter', 'the end of the story', 'a green light'
*sees 'the grand illusion'
*starts new blogger blog
*starts twitter account
*watches forrest gump in its entirety on cable television
*puts 'britney spears' stickers on door of gawker offices
*suffers embarrassing defeat in goldeye for N64 at the hand zachary german
*continues to flirt with vegetarianism, occasionally eats meat
*eats at angelica's kitchen with girlfriend at the time
*sees ellen kennedy read 'probably going to die alone'
~start of 2009
*cross-country skis to avalanche pass
*hikes dix mountain wearing new hiking boots
*has things published on the Internet
*reads march edition of Harvard business review
*interviews at fortune 500 company
*hikes rocky peak ridge, giant mountain
*reads john Keats on subway train
*flirts with veganism, occasionally eats dairy, occasionally eats meat
*grandfather dies via cancer
*listens to 6x Wordsworth poems on cassette tape
~start of 2010
?????????????
~ start of 2000
*waits out thunderstorm on top of whiteface mountain
*quits football team after being choked by football coach
*tries out for varsity lacrosse team, doesn't make team
*family sells summer lake house, goes to Mohegan Sun with family
*works at coffee shop, throws party at parent's house while parents go out for Chinese food
~start of 2001
*sees clockwork orange and Dr. Strangelove
*visits 'ground zero' days before Christmas
*works with Guatemalan immigrants excavating septic field, cuts live electrical wire in an old house with yellow 'snippers'
~start of 2002
*gets rejected from purchase film school, wait-listed at NYU, visits Emerson in Boston, enrolls at suny oneonta
*reads 'on the road', 'the rum diary', 'electric kool aid acid test'
*visits grandparents in Florida
*watches wild strawberries, 8 1/2, the seventh seal, and winter light
*vacations with family in Montauk, NY
*loses virginity
*takes psychedelic mushrooms alone in college dorm room
*'crams' for philosophy final using 'cocaine' to stay awake
~start of 2003
*receives a D in public speaking, fails African history (doesn't take final), receives a C- in world literature
*takes acid and eats food in wilsbach dining hall
*takes psychedelic mushrooms after seeing Hukkle in 'art house'
*gets arrested by campus police for lighting fireworks
*drunk drives in snow covered back-country roads in oneonta
*moves into house on Columbia street in oneonta, gets sued by neighbor, reads Faulkner oeuvre, reads 'tortilla flat', reads 'torch song' by john Cheever
*wins intramural indoor soccer title
*takes a girl to a club, listens to heavy metal in her dorm room after
*talks with grandfather re 'art' at breakfast table
*attends weekly mug night entirety of college semester
~start of 2004
*works at ski mountain, flips grandfather's car driving to ski mountain, snowboards drunk, loses car keys on ski slopes
*sleeps in car at ski mountain, reads 'song of Roland', abridged version of '1001 Arabian nights'
*videotapes interviews with several Buddhist monks at monastery in new york
*reads 'leaves of grass', 'complete poems' of Emily Dickinson
*writes 10 page paper re Faulkner's 'go down moses', reads first part of king Arthur's version of the bible
*swims in lake placid again
*girlfriend at the time studies abroad in Florence, Italy
~start of 2005
*moves into apartment in oneonta that has a bow-flex
*takes literature courses over summer in oneonta
*listens to air america radio regularly
*apartment gets big screen tv, kegorator, playstation 2, deep fryer, crock pot
*cares for 3ft female marijuana plant
~start of 2006
*makes ~6min video starring roommate
*drinks sambuca regularly
*graduates from suny oneonta
*moves in with parents
*starts blogger blog
*washes dishes, makes salad for 2 weeks in violet, Louisiana
*serves food at conference center, sees bear vs shark in poughkeepsie, ny
~start of 2007
*works as freelancer in Manhattan, NY
*guts katrina-ruined bedroom in 9th ward New Orleans, scoops used condoms with shovel
*drinks Guinness regularly
*reads Man A la Mancha, Ulysses, The Odyssey
*hikes Mount Haystack wearing new balance sneakers
*rereads abridged version of Inanna's Descent into the Underworld
*drinks whiskey and ice regularly
*flirts with vegetarianism
*deletes original blog
*poem published on california based website
~start of 2008
*reads tao lin oeuvre
*visits bearparade.com regularly
*attempts and fails to hike mount haystack wearing snowshoes and new EMS boots
*moves to brooklyn, ny
*reads 'like life', 'revolutionary road', 'self-help', 'chilly scenes of winter', 'the end of the story', 'a green light'
*sees 'the grand illusion'
*starts new blogger blog
*starts twitter account
*watches forrest gump in its entirety on cable television
*puts 'britney spears' stickers on door of gawker offices
*suffers embarrassing defeat in goldeye for N64 at the hand zachary german
*continues to flirt with vegetarianism, occasionally eats meat
*eats at angelica's kitchen with girlfriend at the time
*sees ellen kennedy read 'probably going to die alone'
~start of 2009
*cross-country skis to avalanche pass
*hikes dix mountain wearing new hiking boots
*has things published on the Internet
*reads march edition of Harvard business review
*interviews at fortune 500 company
*hikes rocky peak ridge, giant mountain
*reads john Keats on subway train
*flirts with veganism, occasionally eats dairy, occasionally eats meat
*grandfather dies via cancer
*listens to 6x Wordsworth poems on cassette tape
~start of 2010
?????????????
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